PETITION

We, the citizens of the United States of America, ask that a law be passed that prohibits the holy state of marriage to all bigots. We realize that this will be a difficult step to take, but in light of the recent passage in the Washington state Legislature of a law prohibiting the marriage of gay and lesbian citizens, we note that the action we propose here is far more justified, and will promote the general welfare for the following clear and undeniable reasons:

Bigotry is a well-known source of crime. Bigots are among the most profligate subgroups in our nation in terms of violence and vandalism, considering, as they do, that their petty hatreds are more important than civility and law. This makes them dangerous to the population, as opposed to gay citizens, who are no more prone to violence or law-breaking than anyone else.
Bigotry is a matter of choice. If a person wishes to stop being a bigot, they can work on their attitudes, learn new facts, and overcome this blight with relative ease. This makes bigotry contagious, as opposed to homosexuality, since you cannot choose to be gay or not to be gay any more than you can decide to be tall or not. Refusing to allow bigots to marry will encourage them to opt out of this perverted lifestyle. This will not contribute to instability of family units, as refusing gay people the right to marry does, because bigots are notorious for their intolerance, and a healthy family requires a healthy degree of tolerance for variety between people.
Bigotry is spread by contact. Bigots actively recruit new bigots, and try to influence undecided citizens to be a part of their movement, unlike the gay and lesbian population, who for the reasons noted above, cannot recruit new members to their class. Allowing bigots to marry, then, will let them support each other and possibly contaminate all the social circles in which the couple participates.
Bigots raise children far more often than gay or lesbian couples. Child welfare boards nationwide can show that homes where abuse is found have a higher proportion of bigots in them than the overall population. These children are well known to be at risk of becoming bigots themselves, as noted above, unlike children raised by gay couples, who are no more likely to grow up gay than the general population. We need to do what we can to avoid having new bigots spring up in every new generation.
Bigots have shown an alarming ability to pervert Christianity, which Christ said is based on a covenant to love your neighbor. They have warped this tradition so badly that hatred is clearly the primary emphasis in the bigot's twisted religion. Any true Christian must find this utterly repugnant and blasphemous. All moral and ethical individuals can see the danger and evil contained in this perversion.

We realize that the more appropriate action of jailing all bigots would probably be rejected as too extreme, so we are willing to settle for merely denying them the right to live as normal individuals, and refusing to allow them to be accepted in society. This is much preferable to doing the same to gay couples, because the bigots harm our society on a daily basis, rather than simply seeking to live in peace.

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